Dear Teen Me, Kindness and Acceptance are Everything. From Author K.M. Walton (CRACKED)
Dear Teen Me,
K.M. Walton circa 1985
Hey, I like your Princess Leah buns. I’m still proud of you for wearing them to school when you were thirteen. Why? Well, that moment starts a trend for you: never following the crowd. But don’t think I’ve forgotten your blatant attempt at popularity the summer before 8th grade. You work all summer on your cartwheels and splits for your varsity cheerleading tryout. Yeah, you don’t make it. But you know what you do, you cheeky little monkey? You become the head coach of the JV cheerleading team – at that same school – when you’re only 15 years old.
You hold no tryouts. Instead you accept every 5th and 6th grade girl who signs up; which results in a 64 member cheerleading squad. It feels so right. You and your best friend Carol Q. roll up your teenage sleeves and get to work. There are only fifteen cheerleading uniforms in the bag you’re handed. You have some organizing and fundraising to do. Right then you know in your bones that kindness and acceptance are ev-er-y-thing to you. It becomes your lifelong passion.
K.M. Walton & Carol Q. circa 1982
More good news. You follow in our brilliant mother’s footsteps and become a teacher. And you’ll teach for twelve glorious years, with the same primary focus of teaching about kindness, tolerance and acceptance. You’ll boldly ruffle feathers along the way, especially when you get kids talking and thinking about bullying, homophobia and racism.
Something else becomes quite a theme for you. Writing. You’ll get kids to write and write and write. About their feelings, their parent’s divorce, cutting, attempted suicide, the death of their grandparent. They’ll write about the important stuff. Stuff that matters. Stuff that opens hearts and minds. You’ll write alongside of your students: free verse poems, letters to the government, articles, picture books, essays, short stories and 28 page papers. Most crucial thing is that you will write. A lot.
You keep writing and eventually you leave teaching (reluctantly) to follow your dream of becoming a real writer. And after putting every ounce of who you are into your efforts, you do it. You really do it.
K.M. Walton circa 1986
So, you goody-goody rule breaker (I know those two things don’t go together, but in your case it’s what you are. The rules you care about breaking have nothing to do with boys or drinking or drugs or any of that inconsequential crap. The rules you want to break are the ones involving injustice.) keep standing up for what you believe in and for those who can’t/won’t speak up for themselves. It works for you and it feels really good. Even now.
Love,
The 43 year old you
P.S. Getting half of your head shaved off the summer before senior year is the coolest haircut you’ll ever have, you punk rock, non-conforming chick.
P.P.S. Freshman year of college you meet this wickedly hot, ice hockey playing, skateboarding guy in the dorm when you’re 19. Let me emphasize the wickedly hot part. You marry him and have two awesome sons. And he’s still hot after 24 years of being together. Good choice, girl.
K.M. Walton’s debut novel CRACKED will be published by Simon Pulse (Simon & Schuster) in Spring 2012. She’s also co-authored a book on how to teach students to think through mathematics instead of simply doing mathematics called Teaching Numeracy: 9 Critical Habits to Ignite Mathematical Thinking – Corwin Press, April of 2011. She is fortunate to be represented by the lovely Sarah LaPolla from Curtis Brown Ltd.
She taught in public education for twelve years and loved every minute. But, it turns out writing is K. M. Walton’s favorite thing to do in the whole world. Even the hard parts – and there are a lot of hard parts. She even sang about the hard parts.
She reads Entertainment Weekly cover to cover every week and has done so since 1992. She dances in her dining room and sings in her hot tub with her husband and two sons. She has also been known to eat obscene amounts of chocolate candy.
K.M. blogs at: http://skateorbate.blogspot.com
Tweets @KMWalton1
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KATE, I LOVE YOUR STORY, you rebel you ( I love that you let that many girls on the squad), AND I totally think your new title ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, Christine!! And I love my new title too. A lot.
Love it Kate! i use this as a task in some of my group therapy sessions. It’s a letter of connecting and at times forgiveness. I may use it today at work! You go girl!
Lisa, that would be an honor.
I blessed to know you and be your friend. Love your letter.
xo
I am blessed to have you as my friend as well!!
I meant to say, I AM blessed… duh.
way to go kate! i was a rebel too in my catholic school days! i would scrunch my knee socks all the way down to my ankles just to prove the point no one was going to tell me what to do!!
I love the scrunched down socks. Go, rebel Marybeth, go!
Kathleen, I am so proud to be your friend! Your letter made me cry. You’ve have affected the lives of many, including mine. Thanks for letting me ride your coat tails for awhile, breaking every cheerleading rule in the book! I wish there would have been a teacher like you in my sister’s life that would have made a difference. I KNOW that you have saved lives and I love you for that! You WILL rule the world someday!!! OXOX
My dear/true friend, Carol…I typed a response to you yesterday and evidently it didn’t go through. And it was a great comment. Boo. Let’s see if I can remember what I typed….
What an honor it was to go through that amazing experience with you (as well as the 10,000 other experiences we had back then). I am thankful you remain my friend to this day. You are a treasure.
They had racism in the 80s? Just kidding. I was there.
I love this Kate! Well done. I can see why we get along.
Thank you for your kind words, Matthew!
I should just start hitting “cut & paste” because I’m getting tired of saying “this is awesome” and “you rock” and ” it’s mindblowing” and “inspirational” and “fearless” and “I’m so proud” and blah, blah, blah
I feel like a broken record. Buuuut at the risk of sounding redundant ….I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. You have inspired me to become a better me…ever since we were children. You’re the BEST big sister EVER!! I love you and I am in awe of darn near everything you do because you are passionate, fearless and NEVER take no for an answer 
YOU GO GIRL!
-Meghan
Love you back, Meghan! You are and always have been one of my biggest cheerleaders. Sisters rule.
Hooray for Princess Leah and hot ice hockey players! Looking forward to reading Cracked!
Thanks, Tracy, fellow Simon Pulser ; )
I had that same half-shaved head haircut! Only my hair is so thick that the back portion fell over the shaved part and it just looked like I had a chunk of it tucked behind my ear. My attempts at being an outward rebel never quite worked out like I planned. But in my head and my heart, I rocked it. LOL Wish my kids could’ve been in your classroom because it sounds like you were the type of teacher I love. Congrats on your writing success!
Oh I have no doubt you rocked it! And thank you for your kind words, Shelli.
Being one of those 64 girls you let on the squad, one who would have never made it if you didn’t, I am so thankful for that experience, you’ll never even know. The pride I felt, wearing the homemade skirts and sweater with the letter on the front, was evident in every picture I have from the fifth grade of me in my cheerleading uniform. It didn’t matter to me at all that there were 63 other girls who were much more skilled and coordinated than I was….I was still on the team. I believed that if I practiced, I would be better, and practice I did. I probably did not get much better, but I still was part of a team. For the first time in my life at that point, I was part of a team. It was monumental.
You were Kathleen then, and I have to say, the most approachable high schooler I knew. Thank you for being that person, and taking those risks. As a teacher, you know you have had such an amazing impact on so many kids. But I just wanted to share with you, that as a 15 year old, you also had a pretty amazing impact on many girls, I know there’s more out there than just me.
I cannot wait to read your book, and feel so fortunate to say, I remember you when….
You made my cry, damn it
Read my reply to your sister
DENISE!!!!!!!!! I am blown away that you read this and then wrote what you wrote to me. Blown. Away.
And your kind, kind words made me cry. At work.
Well, I’m sorry for the tears, but I have to say, if you want to laugh out loud, then click on your link and watch yourself singing on YouTube…I loved that!!!! That was Fabulous, and who knew you also have a beautiful voice behind the amazing words.
Kate, I LOVE this and I LOVE the new title! WOOT!
Thank you, Frankie, very much.
I love strong, intelligent, fearless women. I am lucky to be surrounded by so many of them…must be something in the genes. I think about how often in my lifetime you have made me laugh and smile and how you inspire me to love and embrace life with all its ups and downs. So happy you are influencing a generation of kids!
Genny, we certainly are blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful women! You included, dear cousin.
I loved you BEFORE I read this-now I ADORE you!
Kim! You are too kind. Thank you.
I love that you didn’t conform and force try outs! Good for you!
It felt soooo good to do, believe me – especially since I didn’t make the team two years before. Those two years are such cherished memories for me.
if only there were more “kate’s” in the world!!! i hope you’re contagious to all your readers
Cheryl, thank you for your sweet words.
Go, Rebel Kate, go!
; ) Thanks, Robin!
Kate,
It’s amazing that you are able to write everything about your teen years so well. (Me, eh-hem, can’t say that I could.) I have been keeping tabs on all that you’re doing and it is really cool to follow!
I am so glad I was the match maker circa 1980′s! That cheerleading story is awesome! Like I always say – “You never cease to amaze me!” Cool. (say it like your hot husband)
But, Janice, didn’t we meet when you were like 17 or 18?? You have memories of that! And if perhaps your memories are fading I remember it ALL. Oh yes, yes I do ; )
First of all, you and I are way alike. Our taste in skateboarding men, punk rock, goody goody breaking rules, oh and the love of writing.
Second, I’m still cracking up about the Princess Leia buns. Yeah, I remember the story.
Third, the new title rocks.
This is awesome. Love this. Can’t wait for your book on the shelves.
No wonder hanging out with you and Kelly felt so easy and “regular”!!! Thank you for your kind words.
Kate, why does none of this surprise me. I love who you are and that you are still in love with my hot adorable nephew! What a great team you two make. Can’t wait to read Cracked!!
Love you!
Aunt Lynn
Aunt Lynn!!! Thanks for reading my letter. And you and Uncle Dave have quite the long-lasting-love thing going yourselves ; )
What a joy to read, I too was a rebel and still continue to have crazy haircuts !!! Every woman can relate to your teenage years, either alot or little pieces of it ! Loved it.xoxoxox
You are a joy yourself, Alice!
You did so many wonderful things at such a young age that I never knew about. I’m impressed you were a teenager with vision. This should be inspiring to any teen that wants to make a difference or has a vision that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. Starting young is key. It carries over into your adult life. A lot of teens are lacking positive role models. They may have great ideas or want to be something, but don’t see anyone around them doing it so they think its immpossible. Great work Kate!
Also…..had a minute to process. I had a horrible teen experience in the way that I was ridiculed for being to creative. It made me shut down. So the lesson to teens is if they make fun of you it’s a good thing your probably on to something.:)
Steph, I love how you wrote your comment through the lens of helping any teenage readers. Like you said, it is through the pain that we grow and deepen.
That was a great letter Kate! Since you were MY coach that year I have to say we kicked ASS…I think YOU should take YOURSELF out for a drink:) Well done! Love ya
No, I love you, Nikole. We certainly did have fun those two years (and we’re STILL having fun, eh?). You were such a good leader as Captain – kind, funny and loving – in 5th grade!!
I loved this letter, Kate. I remember your punk haircut well…I think the first time I saw it was at a Thanksgiving or party at 423…and I remember being very impressed!!!! I related to your letter a lot, I remember being unsure of some things as a teen, but very sure that I liked being different/ a non-conformist. You have always been and remain an original thinker with an incredibly generous heart…and I love that you have spent so many years of your life teaching young people to accept and love themselves- and to be kind to others. You are an amazing woman, Kate Walton!!
Right back at you, Patty!!!!!!!!!!
YAY for the new title! Can’t wait to read it. And wow, your Dear Teen Me letter blew me away. Wish I’d known you then, but I’m honored to know you now.
Thank you very much for those kind words. And I am thrilled to have met you as well!!
I want to be teen you right now
Nate, you make me laugh. I could always shave off half of your head when we all get down to Strathmere. I’m still rather talented with cutting hair ; )
LOVE IT. I was so young when you were a cheerleader coach, I only slightly remember the 64 member team. That’s such an awesome Kate thing to do. Equality, kindness, respect, ingenious, if only you could be president of the world. Great letter. Love you, you deserve everything you have received and everything coming your way!!!
I am humbled by your confidence in me. President of the world, eh? That would be some job. I love you, Chrissy.
I loved reading this letter, and remember your cheerleading team- I think I saw a practice once! What a great teenage acheivement!
I also love the new title and can’t wait to see it in print!
I think you did come to a practice – I have a foggy memory of that. Thank you for your kind words. And I am so happy you like the new title : )
I remember well your half shaved haircut…and I remember your mother not being too happy about it.lol! I loved however, how you stood your ground and believed in being different. Most of all though I loved what you did for those 64 young girls. I can only assume that those 64 girls today, most likely have more confidence, pride and a higher level of self esteem because you had the vision to treat them with kindness and respect. I’m sure there would be far less bullying in schools and elsewhere if people would just treat everyone like you treated those 64 young girls.
Reading the comment above from one of those girls blew my mind!!! Incredible.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Kathleen.
P.S. actually, my mom supported the crazy haircuts, it was my poor dad that had such a hard time with it – but he eventually realized my sister Meg and I were just being teenagers & we were really good kids.
I never heard that story before about the 64 person cheerleading squad! What lucky girls to have someone so cool and amazing to look up to. 10 years your junior – I looked up to my cousin Kate as the coolest teenager ever. I only recently figured out that you are actually endearingly dorky. (and I still look up to you )
Maureen! “The coolest teenager ever” makes me smile. With a really big, endearingly dorky smile. ; )
P.S. the part in the parenthesis is even better – love you.
Love it! I love seeing all your different hair styles too…I wish I could have seen Princess Leah though
And, I love the new title for the book. Awesome!!!
Oh how I wish I had a photo of those buns. I think I’d frame it. And I’m psyched you like the new title – I love it too!!
I loved your letter. I am grateful to have had you as a teacher and later as a friend. You did teach me to always put myself in the other person’s shoes and the lessons I taught and learned at Camp Kindness will stay with me forever! I also loved your music video, made me think of the Camp songs you wrote. You are such a talented woman and couldn’t be more deserving of your successes. I will definitely be purchasing your book when it is published =)
Lisa! Comments like yours are what make teaching worth it. Thank you for being such a wonderful young woman (then and now).
Loved reading your letter! I actually remember well many of the incidences you wrote about !! It’s hard to believe that I have known your great husband for 24 years! ( and you, of course, 40 +)
You are truly a gifted writer. I’m looking forward to reading many more of your fantastic novels!
Aunt Nancy, you were (and are) the best/coolest youngest aunt. Ever. I wanted to be you when I was a teenager!!!! Thank you for your kind words. Love you.
What a great letter! I love your teen-you, too, and we’ve never even met. Holding cheer tryouts and welcoming everyone to join is a truly revolutionary act. Yay for goody-goody rule breakers!
Why thank you, Gigi. I don’t know if it was revolutionary but I do know it felt 100% right. Perhaps it was bold-teen-naivete. I guess I’ll never know.
Hey Kate, What a cool thing to do. Learned a few things about you reading this. All totally radical things, especially the 64 member cheering squad. Screw the precedents. Do you. Great job!
Hey, thanks for coming over here and reading this, Jordan. Radical things rule.
Kate, I am blown away by your letter. You are truly a gifted writer but also such a kind and loving person. Having all those girls on the cheerleading squad was amazing. I am so looking forward to your book. I wish you continued success and rebellion!
PS Where can I find your singing video?
Thanks, Nancy. I will continue to forge a path for kindness : ) And you can find my singing video if you scroll back up to my bio, underneath my letter. The word “sang” is clickable and will take you right to youtube.
Its all good stuff Kate! Loved the letter and am proud of you girl!