Dear Teen Me from Author Jessica Leader (NICE AND MEAN)
One of innumerable dress-up photos, many years before I was a breakfast-table grouch.
Dear Teen Me,
Hey, Grouchy. I’m not sure I want to say hi to you. Why should I? You’re holed up in the back section of the lunchroom, scribbling away in your notebook, and if I come over and try to say hey, you’ll probably only glance up and me and go back to your doodling. And if I persevere and try to make conversation, I’ll probably get the feeling that you don’t want me around. Why should I bother?
I know—it’s 7:53 and your bus gets to school annoyingly early, and the glazed doughnuts by the steam table are more tempting than you want them to be. Many of your classes are boring, and the people around here aren’t as cool as you’d hoped. Well, sorry, kiddo, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to be treated so rudely all the time. They’re just trying to be nice and make the time go by, so stop expecting them all to have quote-worthy thoughts—one, because it’s annoying, and two, because if you got a little more practice talking to them, it might serve you well in future years.
As you can see, I would likely grow up to have strong opinions.
Yes, I know that right now you’re oh so smart and literate and that only the truly deep, entertaining or nice people deserve your attention. But flash forward to college when there are lots of people you want to be your friend—so badly, in fact, that you find them intimidating. Don’t you wish you had a little practice making small-talk with the people at breakfast? You should.
And what’s the line from that brilliant song of spiritual guidance, “Ebony and Ivory?” (Ssh, don’t admit that you remember those words): People are the same wherever you go. Whether they’re the girl at the sophomore-year breakfast table or that cute junior in your college playwriting class, pretty much everyone enjoys a smile and a little bit of chatter, and whether they enjoy it or not, they all deserve the option. You’ll learn this eventually at your first real job, where you genuinely like lots of people, and you’ll really learn it in grad school, when you’ll stay up night gabbing with them. But it still wouldn’t hurt you to learn these lessons earlier, and I’m guessing the people in the cafeteria might not mind it, either. So stop placing people above your or below you, relax those ridiculous Grand High Pooh-Bah standards, and just say hello and good morning!
Let’s try this again, shall we? Hey! Teen Me!
(Was that a hey I just heard in reply?)
–Jessica
Aladdin Mix, June 2010.
Jessica Leader is the author of NICE AND MEAN, a middle-grade novel that was published by Simon and Schuster/Aladdin in June. NICE AND MEAN appeared on the Kids IndieNext List and was nominated for a Cybils Award. A graduate of the Vermont College MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults, Jess has taught English and playwriting for the last ten years. When not writing, she can be found picking berries, eating berries, and peeling the labels off magazines while trying to keep the glue strip intact. You can learn more about Jess and NICE AND MEAN at www.jessicaleader.com.
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Ha ha! Cute! I was the opposite in high school. I didn’t become introverted til college, and just like you say, only offering my social graces to those worthy. lol
Book looks super cute. Best of luck with it!
Lol, fantastic! This was my older sister in high school, 100%. I was just too scared to say anything to anyone, try as I might.
Great post.
Great letter, Jessica. And filled with such sound advice. I love the line, “People are the same wherever you go.” So very true.
Love it Jessica! I went through that phase too!
Thank you, everyone! So nice to know I was not alone in being this kind of a wretch. And very glad that the eternal words of McCartney & Wonder resonated with you, K. M.
[...] webly friend Emily Krisin Morse and others. I recently had my turn talking to my teen self, and here’s what I had to say. I’m glad I finally got it off my [...]
LOVE those photos. Great advice, too.
Great letter1 And may I say you were the cutest baby ever? How did that sweet face ever get grumpy?
We all do, alas.
Nikki–ha! I guess it’s the human condition, alas.
Oh, I love the playfulness of this letter; it totally endeared me toward teen-you! I concur, too, on the baby pic.
Ah, you were a brooder then and you are oh-so-friendly now. Glad you learned to enjoy the art of small talk (and especially when it became book small talk!)
Hey Jess!
Mmmm glazed donuts…