Dear Teen Debbie from Author & Austin SCBWI RA Debbie Gonzales
Dear Teen Debbie,
Sit down, my sweet 17-year-old self. I’ve got a bone to lovingly pick with you. Here…have a glass of Coke. Go ahead…dump a handful of salted peanuts in there and get comfortable. We’ve got something to chat about.
Teen Debbie!
Young Deb, your image of who you really are has become blurred by self-doubt. Enough’s enough. Girl, it is all right to literally sing your own praises! Don’t play small. You’ve been doing that way too long. You know that’s true, don’t you? Let’s consider a time when you allowed someone to keep you from fully enjoying one of the best, Glee-like, times of your life – when you were Marion the Librarian, the lead in the high school musical The Music Man. Let’s take a look, together.
Sugar, just think about it. You beat out scads of talented girls for the part. You didn’t land Marion because the judges were being nice, Deb. Nope. You were the best. They knew it and you should have taken that as fact and ran with it. You did an amazing job. Of course, you did, being the responsible, people-pleaser that you are. You knew all your lines. You sang really well. (All but that one sour note there on the bridge scene. What’s one note, right?) You were amazing! Charming! Dare I say, even beautiful? Bravo!
Debbie in The Music Man.
Yet, you let your college graduate boyfriend steal your joy, didn’t you. You allowed this one person’s complaining and berating keep you from opening up and soaking up all the warm, lime-lit splendor due you. Why, you even chose to skip the cast party because of this jerk-oid, didn’t you, love? Oh…to turn the clock back and do it all over again. One can only wish, right?
Deb, I’m not trying to shame you here, but his needling, manipulative, expensive-gift-giving mind-control caused you a lot of trouble, didn’t it? He kept you from hanging out with your girl friends. His whining ruined your prom. Things at home were rocky because of this relationship, too…weren’t they? The fact is he pretty much destroyed your whole senior year, didn’t he? Girl…girl…girl…
Well, like I said, you’re allowed one sour note and this guy was pretty darned stinky. He was old enough to know that you needed to be free to do all of these senior-in-high-schoolie things, and more. If he really loved you, like he said he did, he’d have let you shine, shine, shine! Your glowing would have warmed his heart and soul, because, Deb, that’s how love works. It’s not about clamping an emotional vice grip on someone, limiting their opportunity for joy and fulfillment. Nope. It’s about being confident enough to allow their loved one to fill a crowded high school auditorium with open-armed melodic wonder. No…not allow. That’s not the right word. Instead, try encourage, delight in, or celebrate!
And, in turn, you, sweetie, must develop the confidence to strut into any once-in-a-lifetime-cast-party-like situation with your well-deserved, lead-role swagger – STAG!
With love and great admiration for your young self,
Deb
Grown-up Debbie.
Debbie Gonzales is the Austin SCBWI RA, a graduate of the Vermont College of Fine Arts, a writer, a teacher, and a blogger. She’s published a series of early readers with GiltEdge Publishing and is working hard to spit polish a couple of middle grade novels for show. Stop by Deb’s Simple Saturday, her popular website found at www.debbiegonzales.com, and join in the celebration of the simple pleasures of life. Debbie lives in Round Rock, Texas with her two favorite dogs — husband John and three-legged chocolate lab Tripod.
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Oh, teen Deb…I wish I’d been your friend back then. I am glad I am your friend now.
I agree. I’m glad we’re friends now. BFFL.
So glad I’m you’re friend now too, Deb! Great letter
Thanks, Jessica, Live and learn, right?
Poor teen Deb! Ugh, I had a stinky guy. I unfortunately expect to encounter more, but now I feel like I’m strong enough to recognize it and tell him to bugger off. Great letter!
Bugger off. You got it.
I never knew you were in The Music Man! How very awesome. You’ll have to sing for us sometime!
I can sing a mean Puff the Magic Dragon, too.
Glad to hear you got rid of that jerk-oid. Ah, the things we do for love sometimes…
Live and learn, right>
Debbie, your 17-yr-old self was beautiful, just like your present day self! So glad you stopped letting anyone dull your shine. Thanks for all you do for us in Austin!
Your shine ain’t that bad either, you know?
Debbie, my friend. You shone so brightly tonight. I think that 17 year old lead in Music Man was on stage with you as you made your way to open up the Austin SCBWI Boots, Books, and Buckskin Conference. So glad you shared this story!
Bethany, I am proud to call you my friend! Glad I gave that fella the boot!
Deb, I hope readers in this situation find their way to your entry, because the soul-crusher boyfriend thing is sadly eternal. Glad you found your way to the most excellent John!!
Thanks, Jess. Funny thing is that John and I were dating other folks during this time, yet were amazing good friends. Complicated…
What a wonderful letter to your 17 year old self, Debbie. She’s waited to hear this from you!
She’s all grown up now and feeling fine! And you?
This is a really great exercise for all of us to partake. I can certainly relate to teen Debbie! Thanks.