Dear Teen Me from Author and Poet G. Neri (CHESS RUMBLE, YUMMY)

Dear Teen Me:

Oddly enough, in your mid-forties, you will become a novelist writing young adult fiction for urban teens and reluctant readers. You will be married, have a daughter and live in Florida. Oh, and dude? You’ll live to see Arnold Schwarzenegger become governor.

I know, crazy, right?

Along the way, you’ll get heavily involved with new media. What’s new media, you ask? You’ll find out. But in 1995, you’ll help create a new kind of website that is basically Facebook eight years before Facebook was even an idea. Unfortunately, you won’t patent it or become a billionaire. Sorry. At least they didn’t make a movie about you.

Ok, so I guess I’m suppose to give you some kind of advice here. But I’m not gonna say something all touchy feely like tell your mother you love her everyday or talk to girls more! Nope, what I have to say is deeper than that.

You are on your own.

I know it’s a big thing to do these Life Gets Better videos, but I can’t go there. Because ultimately, whatever I tell you will not make a difference, because life is messy. You need to make your mistakes, you need to do some things you’ll later regret, you need to almost get killed a few times, to give up a few times, and to experience all the things teens are supposed to suffer over.

Why?

Because you turn out pretty good in the end.

And all that stuff that we wish we could avoid, we can’t. It’s what makes us, us. It’s part of being human on this planet. And there’s no way around it.

You’ll get your heart broken a few times, I’m not gonna lie to you. It hurts. Especially the first couple of times. But falling in and out of love is a good thing because you’ll find out that you get more than one shot. Really. You’ll love your future wife when you meet her, no worries. Besides, your first girlfriend turns out to be crazy and you had to steal her from your friend to find that out. She used you and that sucks. But karma wins in the end.

Going out for football your freshman year—ehh, not so good. You’ll look like a fool because high school football isn’t street ball. The pads are too big, the helmet makes you look like a bobblehead, and you will fracture your thumb on the first and only play you’ll ever be in. You will quit in humiliation and be labeled trouble by the wrestling coach and stop showing up for 6^th period for the rest of the year.

You will become a skate rat and start draining pools—other people’s pools while they’re out of town—just for a cool ride. You’ll bust your head and break a few bones in this pursuit, but you’ll survive and later tell stories that you were like one of the original Z-boys (a big stretch). You’ll start building ramps in your driveway (carpentry is a good skills) but need to steal the wood to build these ramps (not a good skill unless you want to become a thief later on). You’ll be chased by the cops and always escape, but the last time– the last time you will only survive by a matter of inches and that would have meant juvie for sure.

But the big bomb I gotta drop on you is this: soon you will get very, very sick. You’ll think it’s an everyday cold, but it’s not. It will change your life forever. You will have to drop out of school, you’ll have an operation and be told by the best doctors in the world that there’s nothing else they can do. You will be bedridden and not even able to read. And you will serious think about giving up. And for awhile, you will.

But you know what happens?

You discover you have the power to change things. You will get angry that traditional medicine has abandoned you. You’ll begin to look into alternative ways and learn that just because somebody is labeled the best doesn’t mean they know anything. You’ll hook up with a doctor who has an unusual theory and between that and all the alternative methods of healing you and your mom explore, you will get better.

I’m not gonna lie to you: It’ll take 3 years, but you’ll get there and you will be way, way better off for it because then you’ll discover that you can do anything. Anything. Rules don’t matter, they’re meant to be broken. You have will and determination to survive, and that will chart the way for the rest of your life. I’ll tell you right now: you will not do all the amazing creative things in your future without this experience.

You’ll discover what’s important to you: friends and family, art, movies, music, the ocean, traveling. Creativity. All of that will come into play after high school and that’s when you really find your way. You’ll travel abroad, go to a great university and make the friends that you’ll have for the rest of your life.

You just have to get through your high school years.

Because in the end, teen angst will become your bread and butter around 2006 and without experiencing it– all the good and the bad–you’ll never know what you’re talking about. Not without any authority at least. And that’s important, trust me. The truth hurts, but it makes for good reading. And young people, they need to hear that stuff and know they are in good hands when they read it. Your writing will plant seeds of truth in some young brains and you’ll hear about it, in urban schools and juvie halls. Your writing will mean something.

So consider your teen years research and plow through it all. It’s worth it.

Love,

You future self, G.

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G. Neri is the Coretta Scott King Honor-winning author of YUMMY, and a two-time ALA Notable Book honoree. He was the 2010 recipient of the IRA Lee Bennett Hopkins Promising Poet Award for CHESS RUMBLE. He lives in Tampa, Florida with his wife and daughter. Visit his website at www.gneri.com.

Tags: Candlewick, G. Neri, Lee & Low, Putnam, YA